Nursing.... HELP!

Note: This post may be TMI, but I need help and advice.

No one ever told me before Dane came that nursing doesn't come naturally for everyone and it's not always easy. I just assumed it would happen and we wouldn't have any problems. Boy, was I wrong. Over the past 3 weeks I have just been having the hardest time and I don't know what to do. Supposedly, 90% of women have trouble breast feeding, so I know I'm not the only one. My problem is this...This sweet boy of mine loves his tongue (if you can't tell by the pictures) and he loves to suck on his tongue. Because of this he does not latch well at all and it hurts.

For the first few days in the hospital, we had a lactation consultant helping us get his latch right, which we never really succeeded in while I was there. It was painful, but everyone kept telling me that it gets better and to just keep at it and it would get better; however, since he wasn't latched right, it only got worse. It was so bad I would cringe and grab something every time he would latch on because it hurt so bad. It got to the point, that I started supplementing him with formula because I just couldn't do it until I healed some. So, I would just pump and feed him some milk from me and some formula until I felt better to start trying again.

I started going to a new lactation consultant since I've been home. She's been awesome and has helped me get him latched on correctly. The only problem is, she can do it, and I can't. Every time in her office she is able to get him on. She teaches me what to do, but for some reason, when I try it myself at home, we can't do it. I get soooo stressed out and I cry about it a lot because I feel like I'm failing. I also don't have a great milk supply, so if I try to pump, I don't get enough for me to just pump and feed, I have to supplement with formula for him to get enough to eat.

My dilemma... I want to continue trying sooo bad and get it right. I want him to have the health benefits of breast milk, I want to have that special bond with him, I want to do it because I always thought I would. Not to mention, it's convenient and free. But, it stresses me out so bad to the point that I dread him waking him because I know I'm going to have to feed him and it's going to hurt pretty bad. I just don't know what to do. I think I might still try for another week or two, but I feel like it might be better for my sanity to just give him a bottle of formula.

Does anyone have any advice or have been in this situation? I really need some help from someone who has been here before. If you prefer to email me instead of leave a comment, I would love that as well... tiffaustin88@gmail.com

Thanks for listening and for the support!

A few pics

Happy 2 Weeks!

Here we are ... parents for two weeks now. I can't even tell you how I feel. There are so many emotions after you have a baby that there's no way you can ever be prepared :) The first week was hard. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but it was much different than I expected. I knew I would be exhausted, I knew I would worry about a lot of things, but I didn't know I would cry for no reason, or that I would get up to check on Dane any time I heard him make a weird noise to make sure he was still breathing. Before he came, I thought he'd sleep so much that I'd have time to do other things... no way. There's not time, haha. But obviously I would not change it for the world.

Dane is the sweetest, most precious little boy in the whole wide world. If I could I would just snuggle him all day. We love him so much. I thought I would be overwhelmed by emotion and love the minute he was born, but I didn't and I felt guilty that I didn't. Everyone always said that you feel a love you've never felt before when you see them for the first time, so I was expecting that. When it didn't happen, I cried and thought I wasn't a good mom.... but after 2 weeks I have that love that everyone was talking about. It just didn't come all at once like it does for others. 

I can't believe what a good baby he already is though. He really only cries when he needs to be changed or needs to eat. There have been a couple times that he has cried and we didn't know why, but I think he was a little gassy. He usually just falls asleep or wakes up content. He will just sit in our lap and look around. Last night, we got a couple of 3 hour stretches of sleep....so nice. :) He's so alert and he's been picking up his head since like day 2 or 3. It's crazy. Even the pediatrician was amazed. He told us that Dane is progressing really well. He is using his hands and grabbing everything and the dr. said they usually don't start doing that until around 2 months. Dane has gained more than his birth weight back and is actually tall for his age (about the 70th percentile). 

We have also had the help of soooo many people and we are so lucky. Especially from my mom and Josh's mom. To everyone else... thank you!

We got his newborn pictures done and I have added some of our favorites:

As you can tell he loves to stick his tongue out ALL the time... I just think it's absolutely adorable.

Dane Joshua Austin

My last post said 10 days left... when in fact, I went into labor that night. Now that I have a little time, I want to share the birth story and pictures of the cutest little boy. Our little miracle baby.

Dane Joshua Austin
Born October 7, 2010 at 4:09 a.m.
7 lbs 3.5 oz and 20 inches long

On Wednesday, Oct 6, I had a dr. appt. I went in at 3pm and the dr. checked and I was still the same as the week before: 1.5 cm dilated and 80% effaced. I was kind of bummed because I thought I would have made a little more progress, but hadn't. At the appt. the week before the dr. also stripped my membranes and of course nothing came of that. So, at this appt. he asked again if I wanted to have them stripped just to see if my body was ready. I said yes, might as well. He did that and then told me that he felt my bag of waters bulging and he wouldn't be surprised if my water broker naturally instead of having them do it at the hospital. I thought, ok fine, but didn't think anything of it, because nothing happened last time.

After the dr, I came home and made some dinner. Josh came home from work around 5:30 and we were just about to eat. I walked into the bathroom and all of a sudden I felt a huge gush of water. I go, "Ummmm, Josh... I think my water just broke" He comes in and I started freaking out realizing this was going to happen. We were both soooo excited! Unfortunately, there was no time to eat dinner, so we finished getting everything together and headed to the hospital. Here is the picture of us on our way out:

My water broke at 6:30 and we headed to the hospital at 7:30.  I was dilated to 3cm and was 100% effaced once we got there. The contractions really didn't start until after I got to the hospital. Around 8:00 they started getting quite painful. I knew I wanted an epidural, but decided to wait a little bit until the contractions were pretty hard until I got it. Mainly because I was scared of the needle, lol. Little did I know, it hardly hurt and from there on out was easy peasy.  Before the epidural:

I got the epidural around 9:45 and at that point I was 5cm and progressing pretty well. I was nervous the epidural would slow things down and I would need Pitocin, but luckily that wasn't the case and I never needed any.  By 2:45am I was fully dilated and ready to push. At that point it was just me, Josh and the nurse (who was amazing by the way). It was the most amazing experience and Josh was the best coach ever. After about an hour of pushing, they called the dr. and told me to stop pushing until he got there. In the middle of pushing:

Once the doctor got there, I pushed four times and Dane's head was out. Then the rest of his body just came right out and there he was, crying away! He had a little bit of a cone head, but was completely perfect and healthy. What an incredible experience to see our beautiful little son the first time. I did have a small episiotomy, so I had to get stitched up, but then we got to hold our sweet baby and we just had immediate love for him. Dane did have a small breathing issue for the first 30 min, just that he was breathing to fast, so we had to wait to feed him until his breathing slowed down. He didn't need any oxygen or anything, and he was fine within 30 min and hasn't had any issues since. He was also not a crier at all. He only cried when he first came out, but that's really it. Here are some more pictures on his first day of life:

Just about to go home. We had to supplement with formula a couple of days because he lost 9% of his birth weight before we left. He was 6 lbs 9 oz when we left. But we stopped that yesterday.

 Everything we came home with... lots of stuff

 Getting him all set up in his car seat and his first little outfit

 Grandma holding sweet baby Dane:

 He always holds his pacifier his is mouth... so darn cute.

10 days to go

Well, I just have 10 days left until my due date. Of course he could come before or after that date, but I can't believe the time is finally here. I finished my last day of work yesterday and boy does that feel good! I'm now a stay at home mom! I have a list of things to do while I'm home so hopefully I continue to stay busy before he gets here. I have another dr. appt today so we'll see if we've made any progress and how the little guy is doing. Also, I'll post my last baby bump pic later today. The next time I post will probably be about him.... so get excited! haha.